Fear Not

Finally I Am On Airplane

“Thank you, God!” Seatng in the airplane, I said to Him many times.
Until yesterday after 3:30pm, I was at an urgent care being not sure if I could make the trip. I was reluctant, but concerning the worsend cough and the slow recovery since the chemo infusion last Friday, I decided to see a doctor.

He first listened to my lungs moving his stethoscope left to right And right to left, and then told me that my air flowed weaker in the right side than the left side. After an X-ray and lab tests, I waited at the urgent care for being called my name once again. One hour passed. Then another hour passed, but still I Was not called. On top of the comment of the doctor, thinking of the relentless cough and the chest pains, which come and go now, I became nervous.
What if the X-ray showed abnormalities, or if the doctor orders the admission again? I was scared and if I imagined the cancelation of the trip, I wanted to cry.
“God, I am scared! Please help me!”
I prayed.

Finally the time with the doctor came, and he said that the X-ray result was the same as the last time, which caught the new nodule, but it was OK for the trip.
God granted the prayer! He performed a miracle again!

At night when I went to the Bible study, some friends welcomed George and me wearing the costume of hula dance.

I am so grateful for Sue, who offered and prepared in so many ways to make the trip wonderful, and many friends, who have prayed for my recovery so I could make the trip!


Reply Came

I waited on Monday and Tuesday, but on Wednesday, getting afraid that I might waste another week, I emailed NCI asking for the confirmation of the fax my oncologist’s office sent last Friday.

One hour later the reply came and I was asked if I could go there for the physical screening on the week of 10/17. Finally I can mark on the calendar! Although I was not given the exact appointment yet, I got excited and started searching for a flight and a hotel.

This is not for the vaccine shot, but still the screening. I could be disqualified somehow.
Cancer could be growing since last CT in May.
Frequent required CTs during the trial may cause leukemia.
The vaccine shot may make me sick.
Most importantly, the vaccine may not work as the oncologist is afraid of.

This is a huge gamble, but I feel like this is what God is leading me for. Even if I’m wrong, He is with me. Trusting in Him, I will work the Valley of the Shadow of Death.

One More Miracle

First, I’d like to thank everyone who emailed and sent comments with cheers, encouragements, and prayers!
I read all of them with tears of gratitude. I don’t have enough energy to write to each of you, but please know that I am deeply grateful!

Email From Autistic Young Man

Among the many heartwarming emails, there was an odd email from my previous special ed student, to whom I was assigned as an one on one assistant during his middle school years.
In the English environment of a public school, he as Japanese, enjoyed talking with me in Japanese, and even let me talk about Jesus or pray since he was a churchgoer.

Even after his graduation and my retirement, he has kept emailing me every now and then, and we have continued short conversations.

As he has had anger and violence issues, he has been at a group home for several years now, but recently in his email, he wants to deny his past school history, saying like,

“Don’t call me X! That’s not my name. I didn’t go to YY school. I don’t know A or B( person’s names) everybody lies to me and upset me!

Talking with his mom, I learned that he regrets what he said or done to hurt some people in the past and wishes to delete his memory.

“X, it’s OK. You don’t have to deny or lie about your past. God forgave you already and accepted you as you are. You are free! You can live in the truth. God loves you! ”
I wrote him back.
Then short reply came.

” I lie!”
I thought God healed him. The x-student accepted the truth, and became free.

Being able to see one more God’s miracle, with tears, I thanked for this special relationship God gave me.