September 1st, 2016

While Running Fever

While I was running a fever, August was gone. Yesterday I received chemo because the weekend fever was gone, but at night it came back
and this time it climbed up to 101F. I thought I had to go to ER again, but thank Tylenol! My temperature went down though I am still depending on this great med.

Meanwhile, as I got an email of the confirmation of the clinical trial change from the oncologist, I requested NCI to resume the screening.
I hoped the prompt reply, but it took 5 days including the weekend to receive it. During those days I was on pins and needles, thinking
I might be rejected because I am a flip-flop. If this were initiated by the doctor, this kind of worry would be unnecessary. Yet since I declined her choices, I have to take all the hard work.

Anyhow, I noticed that when I was sick, I was very sensitive; easily losing control. Remembering my mom in Japan, who is now 89 and declining in her health quickly recently, taking care of me when I was sick in childhood, I missed her so much that I got tearful. Receiving a short message of “I love you!” from my son, I got tears again, and then today by a rude scam call (714-917-9404). I snapped immediately and was shouting over the phone like a nutcase.

I am glad I didn’t vent on George, who is taking care of me so hard despite the moments of temptations.