“No More Afinitor.”
With the doctor’s words, I doubted my ear.
“Since you started it, you have had so many troubles. If you have to hold chemo each time, the negative effect is bigger. And it is only 50% ( of the full dosage.)”
She is right. This regimen has been pretty harsh and I was down 1-2 days every week. Actually I was going to ask her if it was OK to hold off Afinitor until I come back from Hawaii. Yet giving it up was not in my mind. While usually a chemo drug works for 3-6 months, this regimen with Afinitor works for 2 years according to the study. My expectation was high even though I was taking only 50%.
“What should I do next if I stop Afinitor?”
The doctor said we should discuss about it after we see the result of next CT, which was postponed to the end of May. She said if my symptoms are not improved, I should have a CT to see what’s going on in the lungs, but right now, as pneumonia has affected on even lymph nodes, it won’t help to see cancer status.
“Pneumonia blew up everything.” She sounded like she was also frustrated with it. Yet I should think the Pneumonia is also included in a package of cancer.
The good news was that when I asked if I could go to Hawaii in two weeks, she said, ” Yes. Why not?”! I was going to give up the trip if she said, “No” and ready to hear the word. Since she approved the trip, unless I have another episode, we, as a family, will go to Hawaii!
As I shared with George about the discussion with the doctor, as well as the concern of the progression and the next option, he said again, ” One step at a time. We prayed to give the wisdom to the doctor so she can make good decisions. If there is no more options, then your job on the earth is accomplished and t’s time for you to go Home. The Home must be much better than Hawaii.”
Right. I agreed with everything he said.
The hardships are increasing on my plate, but right now my goals are to get better, to clear the next infusion, and to have a fun safe family trip to Hawaii, and these are also my prayers. God is the Light to guide me and protect me in this darkness and I need to focus on it instead of being distracted by the concerns and fears.