The Platelet number was 71. I received the result of the lab prior to the T-DM1 infusion and as I was concerned, the number dropped again from 74 of three weeks ago. Although the doctor said I could still receive the infusion because it was only slightly lower than the minimum borderline 85, I asked her to postpone it until next week hoping the number might improve.
I also asked for a chart of the last 12 months platelet numbers. A year ago, on 11/6, the number was 326. That means now I have even less than 1/3 of them. I was shocked.
Last December after I changed Taxol to Xeloda, the number went down to 200s and moving up and down until June 2013, and then plunged straight. Since it was April 2013 when I started T-DM1, this is definitely a side effect of T-DM1.
The doctor told me she could reduce the dose to 80% from next week, and I was happy with the idea, but I could not help sighing thinking how difficult the treatment was. I still don’t know if the new findings in the most recent CT are the sign of cancer relapse or not, either.
Walking down the hallway to the parking lot, I wondered if I should go volunteering instead of dispatching someone else. One of our cancer patients that Grain of Wheat has supported was asking for a ride for her grocery shopping.
George always says, “ When you are getting down, you are thinking about yourself more and more. If so, you should go out to help someone else.”
I have shared this wisdom with many others, too.
I thought today was a day to apply this.
Taking out the cellphone, I called the client;
“ If it’s ok with you, I can come to pick you up in 15 minutes.”
When I came home after two hour volunteering, my heart was already lighter and I felt better.
At night I went to a Bible class. On the whiteboard was a cross, and George told participants to write down any thoughts looking at the cross.
“ The cross is my core center. From there I find hope and strength to face tomorrow. The cross is the symbol of Jesus’ incredible sacrifice and love for us and for me.”
Strangely my heart was getting lifted up while I was writing and thinking.
“ Yes. He died for me so that I can live for eternally. Why was I whining with such small things? I will make Him cry and dishonor His sacrifice. I have to keep up with His expectation and live worthy of the cross!”
Though the platelet number is still low, the trajectory of my heart is climbing up. GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME!