So Many Things are Still Unknow

Visiting the surgeon, I asked her to see my armpit where I felt still a lump.

“ It has been just a short time since you had a surgery.  Probably fluid is accumulating.  Do you want me to withdraw it?”

The surgeon poked a syringe into my armpit.

It was coming out.  The full of three syringes of pink fluid was withdrawn.

Then showing a picture of lymph nodes around a breast, she explained that she took the lymph nodes even going up close to my clavicle and she couldn’t operate father because it may harm my veins and nerves.

I asked the same question I did to the oncologist yesterday; “ Have you ever seen patients like me?”

She didn’t answer directly but said,

“ I have seen so many different cancers.  Some spread rapidly and some spread slowly.  But, even if cancer doesn’t respond to chemo, it may respond to radiation.  Like flowers grow on the soil but not on the sand, some cancer doesn’t like to grow in other organs.  Or sometimes our antibody beats cancer.   There are still so many things we don’t know.”

Her eyes looked like to say something more.

That “so many things are still unknown” means there is an unknown chance of beating cancer—I interpreted in this way.

Being told to come back in a few weeks to withdraw fluid again, I left the clinic.

On the way home, I stopped by the wig store to pick up my wig which I dropped off several days ago for maintenance.  I used it for last 8 months and I may need it again once I restart chemo.

Tomorrow George and I will go to UCLA to get a 2nd opinion again.  It was Dr. Glaspy at UCLA who recommended Navelbine as the 2nd regiment.  Although Cancer didn’t go away, I am thankful that I didn’t have any major side effects such as nausea, fatigue, and taste change with Navelbine.  I hope I can hear good input tomorrow again.

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