Yesterday was a day of a clinic with the oncologist. As we talked about the date of the lymph nodes excision, I was told that I had two more rounds to finish my chemo. Though I was concerned to hold off on Navelbine in order to have the surgery, it is almost over anyway. I knew that my chemo would end soon, as it was a six month therapy starting last October, but I wasn’t aware that there were only two more left. This gives me a strange feeling; I am glad to reach the end but at the same time I am a little nervous.
Two days ago, I read articles stating that lymph nodes dissection is not necessary for breast cancer patients who are in the early stage. Yet unfortunately this good news doesn’t apply to me who had 13 out of 21 cancerous lymph nodes. If my two left-over lymph nodes are cancerous, it means that the cancer didn’t respond again. If they are non- cancerous, however, it doesn’t prove that the current chemo was effective and the cancer was responding because those lymph nodes could have been non-cancerous in the first place.
If the biopsy turns out positive, I will continue chemo with new drugs. If it’s negative, I will move on to radiation therapy. I know every patient goes through the same, but it is like a gamble to finish chemo without knowing if you are cancer-free or not. My rollercoaster ride will continue for a long time.
Yesterday was also George’s and my wedding anniversary. Realizing that nobody is guaranteed tomorrow, I feel strongly that everyday is a gift. “Until death shall we apart”, we affirmed to each other that we would make the most of each day.