Jesus told Peter, who was walking on the water but began to drown as he got frightened seeing the wind, “You have so little faith, why did you doubt me?”
I, who have been getting scared seeing a wind called “cancer” just like Peter, remembered this story after talking with George at the dinner table.
My lump under my arm is hard and a hard lump has a high chance to be cancerous. The syringe couldn’t withdraw even one drop of fluid just like the test when I was first diagnosed with breast cancer last May. If this is a cancer, it means Navelbine as the second chemo and Herceptin were not working at all. Then what will work? If the cancer is so aggressive, maybe it will conquer my body so quickly…I was drowning in the water of fear.
Then God spoke to me, “You have so little faith, why did you doubt me?” Oh yes. That’s right. He promised us that He would be with us even if we walk through the valley of the shadow of death: He sacrificed Jesus for forgiving our sins and giving us eternal lives: I promised Him to surrender praying “Thy will be done.”
It doesn’t matter if this lump is benign or cancer; if I can live or die. I am already in almighty God’s hands and forever even after death. So what do I have to be afraid of? I am on a big ship.
When I noticed it, the fear has disappeared. I am now all right! Bumping fists, George and I exchanged the words, “ GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME!”