Though I knew chemo would affect my immune system, I have been staying up late, running a sewing machine, and going out into crowds in the rain recently. I ran a fever yesterday after my chemo.
Every year I am tempted to make some-hand made gifts for Christmas. I neither have good hands, nor hobby of crafts, but when Christmas is coming, beautiful projects at crafts stores look so fascinating that I cannot resist trying. I understand if I take out a sewing machine or knitting needles only once a year, nothing is easy. So why do I want to try? I don’t know. I spend so much time making mistakes and redoing every time and even after I finish, I usually get disappointed with the outcomes. Nevertheless, when every Christmas comes, I am trying the same things – create something – again. Last year it was knitting and this year it is sewing. I, who cannot learn a lesson, and repeat the same mistakes, must be a fool or stubborn.
“ I want to make x for this person and a y for that person..” I enjoy imagining at the craft store and got lots of fabrics. I became a little bit smarter this year inviting Annie, who was an expert of quilting, but my 30-year-old sewing machine has misbehaved many times and I have been tackling it until midnight every day.
On top of that, I went out many times to busy malls looking for gifts in spite of the lousy cold rainy weather recently in L.A. Yesterday, I got up with a sore throat and just what I was afraid of, after chemo, I started running a fever.
If my fever runs more than 100.5 F°, I have to go to ER, and if I have to be admitted to the hospital again, I will mess up this Christmas. I have only done 80% of preparing gifts, I will be one of readers of Christmas passages in a Christmas Eve service at the church, and we are inviting George’s parents on Christmas day.
Listening to George saying, “ it may be easier to buy gifts. I am concerned about you. You should rest”, I half agreed with him, but made an excuse saying,“ It is more fun making my own.”
Now running fever and having a time pressure, I have to admit that is no more true. My plan was shallow again! Tylenol is helpful and I have a good appetite, so I hope I can recover and catch up for Christmas quickly.