November 23rd, 2010

New Pain in the Chest

Since the mastectomy, I have had some discomfort like muscles were stretched or a brick was pressing on my chest.  Yet about two weeks ago, I started experiencing some shooting pains and throbbing pains around my incision frequently and I even started feeling the same kinds of pains around my right breast and right armpit.  When I told this concern to my oncologist, she ordered a chest CT scan, which I haven’t had since May.

My first thought、 as the pain became intense, was “ Is this cancer?”.  Cancer that does not respond to the first chemo tends not to respond to any other chemo—I read it on line.  If that is true, maybe Navelbine is not working and cancer cells are growing.  I got scared.  Yet, fear does not change the CT result. My choice is to let the fear rule my present or to leave my fear to Jesus and not think about it.

The Bible says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” (Philippians 4:6) And “ Don’t worry about tomorrow” (Mathew 6:34)

I pray that this pain has nothing to do with cancer, I will trust the Lord who will never abandon me, and I will bake cookies with Pinky and Ma ( George’s mom ) today.  We’ll celebrate Thanksgiving as a family on Thursday and go to Big Bear Lake with George from the following day.  May Cancer not steal this good time of week!