Today I attended a pre-surgery teaching class in the morning and had a 2nd CT scan in the afternoon. The 2 hr. class was very helpful learning about how to prevent lymphedema ( which may be induced by lymph node dissection), post surgery exercise, drainage, prostheses ( Kaiser insurance covers them!) and so on. Especially knowing that the instructor was a breast cancer survivor was really encouraging.
Afternoon, I went back to the hospital to have the 2nd CT for my abdomen and pelvic area.
Yesterday my oncologist, who came back from her vacation, phoned and told me that the edema could be a chemo side effect but the difficulty of emptying my bladder was of concern; it could be cancer blocking the urination. So she ordered the CT.
Her concern is causing me anxiety, of cause; the same degree of anxiety as the time I found the lump.
I need to hold onto Jesus tightly. First I read “Praying Through Cancer-Set Your Heart Free From Fear”, the book George got for me: This has 90 stories of women with breast cancer who got encouragement and hope from the Bible. Today I read the 64th story. Then I read Psalm 31.
“So be strong and take courage, all you who put your hope in the Lord!”
The words in the Bible comforted me tenderly. Doctors and medicines are important, but my ultimate hope is in God who knows everything about me and has promised to be with me all the time.
It takes 3-5 days to get back the result. I am not going to think about “ What if” – that will drown me. Instead of looking at the stormy wave, I am going to walk on the water only focusing on God who is almighty.