“You Have Cancer”

Dimming Hope

As it is Friday, I might hear the result today.—-I wished for the good result, but I was losing the hope.

Probably this is really cancer.  If so, what will happen to the Japan trip, Grain of Wheat, job, and George?

I may not be able to see my elderly parents in Japan anymore.   Will I lose my breast and hair? ——-

The faces of transplant patients, who passed away, emerged into my mind.

On the way home from work I received  a phone call from George.  The hospital wanted me to call back by 5:00 pm, he said.  It was 4:30.

it must be about the result, I thought.

I rushed  to home and called the hospital without hesitation.   I gave my name, ID number, and told that  I had a biopsy this Wednesday.

After a short second of silence, the lady over the phone said, “I’m sorry, but you have cancer.”

My husband was looking at me anxiously.  Continuing the conversation over the phone, I gave him a sign shaking  my head.  The lady gave me the name of cancer; Invasive Breast Carcinoma, a date of next appointment, and the reminder that I should come with someone for emotional support.

Discouragement

I sat on the couch with George silently.  If I look at his eyes, I wanted to cry.  My mind stopped thinking of anything , or didn’t want to think anything, but I should do something. So I decided to walk our dog, Pepper.

I neither had appetite nor wanted to cook.  I put  out leftover meals on the table, but nothing tasted good. George didn’t want to eat, either.

“I can’t stand to let you suffer,” said he crying.  I cried being sorry to  make him cry.

We’ll Fight Together!

“We’re going to have a challenge, but the best thing is we have God. We will fight together.  We will face a day at a time and make the most.” We promised each other.

We decided to let our close friends know about the cancer, asking for prayers that I can keep faith in Jesus and He will give me the strength all the way to the end.

At night the whole body ached and even breathing was difficult.  It was like a torture and could not sleep at all.

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