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Regret

I have been avoiding mammogram for many years because it is painful and there was nobody who had breast cancer in my family. The last time I had Mammogram was in 2008 when I had experienced the dull pain in my breast at night.  The result was negative.  In 2009 when I changed my insurance to Kaiser, the hospital had called numerous times pursuing me an exam of mammogram, but I always declined saying I had it in 2008. ( If I had listened to it, maybe I could’ve found cancer in an early stage.)

Women Power At Hospitals?

Walking into the exam room, I noticed I haven’t seen any male staff so far.“Men don’t mind to have female staff, but women do to have male staff.” A female technician answered my question.    In the near future, women might be the ones who lead the medical field.  I think about women power and the dark age for men.

White Oval Shadow

Lying on an exam bed, I stared at the white oval shadow of my mammography. The technician asked me to sign on a consent form for a biopsy just in case that a doctor may order.  The word “may” instead of “will” prevented fear like hiding it with a vale, but once a doctor came in, he said that  he would do a biopsy.

“You will just feel pinched. “ “You will hear sounds like this when I cut the sample of tissue,” said he making some clanging noise by the tool.  I trusted the word “numb” again.   Looking at the monitor of ultrasound, the doctor inserted the needle of the tool into the lump.  I was also staring at the monitor.

Clang. Clang. .

Each time as I heard the sound I felt dull vibration.  “How long has it been since you noticed the lump?” asked the doctor.  “Two weeks,” answering the question, I wondered maybe I should’ve noticed it earlier.

Being told that the result would come back in 3-5 days, I left the hospital with an ice pack on my breast.  Because It hurt and I could not get rid of the white oval shadow from behind of my eyes, I didn’t feel like going anywhere today.

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